“I’ll start Monday.”
How often do you wait for Monday to start the new diet, join the gym, quit the booze – to finally get your life in order? And how often do you wait for the right time to leave the job you hate, or wait for the perfect day to start that project or hobby you’ve always dreamt of working on?
When asked about your progress, do you often reel off a list of excuses? Oh, I can’t afford it. I’m too busy. Maybe when the kids have left home. When I’m feeling better. When I’m thinner. I’ll start in the new year……… The list of excuses is endless, repetitive, and often predictable.
And as I sit here typing these words, we are here again – at the start of a brand-new year. A chance to start again. But why do we wait until now to pile the pressure on – setting ourselves up for failure?
Decades ago, Napoleon Hill stated; “Do not wait for the right time; the time will never be “just right.” Start where you stand & work with whatever tools you may have.” And he was right, all too often we find ourselves waiting for this so-called right time. But the truth is there is no right time……..for anything. We all waste so much time procrastinating and theorising about the life we want when what we should be doing is grabbing the life we have with both hands and starting right where we are. And let me tell you from personal experience, if you keep putting things off and waiting for the right time, you may just find that all of your Monday’s and New Year’s run out.
The good news is none of us are alone in this struggle.
So, how do you start where you are?
First, there must be a level of acceptance about where you are. Without acceptance all you are doing is pushing against the tide, resisting what is, which is just a lot of wasted energy – and it will only keep you stuck. Accept that you may not be able to afford the personal trainer right now, but you can start an at home program on You Tube in your bedroom. You may not be able to leave the kids for a week to escape to a week-long retreat in Greece, but you could find a weekend retreat somewhere closer to home. You may not be able to find the space, or money for your own art studio, but you could find a corner in the spare room and carve out a creative space just for you with some cheap equipment to get you started.
When you research any of the greats, both past and present, you will find that they all started small – they just took the first step. When I was facing the daunting task of writing my own book, I found myself obsessing about the magnitude of what I could see in front of me. It just seemed too big a task. The problem was I was focusing on the book in its entirety – the whole elephant – and as the saying goes, we know that there is only one way to eat an elephant, and that’s one bite at a time. If we don’t break our lofty goals down into bite sized chunks, we will almost certainly choke.
So, I accepted where I was. I took the pressure off and acknowledged that I first needed to tackle my feelings of unworthiness, realise that I was capable, and if there were gaps in my knowledge, I could teach myself. I turned my attention to authors that had inspired me over the years and ordered several books on how to write memoir. I would set my alarm and wake at 5am while the rest of the house was sleeping to study. As I soaked it all in, I started to feel a sense of possibility and genuine hope that I could realise my dream. By taking the pressure off and starting small I instantly felt more relaxed and by focusing only on the immediate task front of me everything felt more manageable and achievable.
An important aspect of making my dream a reality was practising the art of visualisation. I would spend time imagining the finished book in my hands, seeing it on the shelf of the local bookstore, imagining the cover, the smell of the pages and how it felt in my hands. I started to brainstorm ideas – just getting things down on the page meant I had something to work with, even if all of those ideas weren’t perfect – Anne Lamott calls this the “vomit draft.” I stopped judging my own thoughts and trusted that out of the chaos some pearls of wisdom would appear. And they did.
When I came up against writer’s block, I began to identify patterns. For example, if I spent too much time on social media, my mind became cluttered. I started to notice how my thinking mind would hold my creative mind hostage and block the flow of ideas. In order to break the pattern, I would take a conscious digital detox and introduce smaller intentions. I would take long walks – silent walks – no headphones. Some of my best ideas have come to me during those walks. I also found meditation (short bursts of ten minutes) helped by allowing my mind to relax and expand.
Another way I took the pressure off was to reduce my time at the writing desk, or bed (where I often write). Instead of writing for two hours a day, I would reduce it to thirty minutes, sometimes fifteen. I had to overcome obsessive thoughts about this being pointless and recognise that any time is better than none. I soon realised that all I needed was those fifteen to thirty minutes to get into the flow – before I knew it those thirty minutes became two hours without my even noticing. I found it useful to note down how many words I had managed to write during each session – keeping a tally in a small notebook in my desk drawer. This allowed me the opportunity to reflect on how far I had come each week, which motivated me to continue.
It took two years to finish my first manuscript. Had I focused only on the finished project I would still be sitting here, at my desk, staring at a blank page. I have since discovered that I can transfer the same way of working on anything I intend to achieve – by breaking my intentions down, keeping them simple, focused, and in line with my values – and always at the forefront of my mind is my brother and all of those who are not lucky enough to still be here with a chance to create the life they always wanted.
So, start where you are – start now. There is no better time.
Book recommendations:
If you’re feeling stuck and need some inspiration, I would highly recommend the following:
‘Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear’ by Elizabeth Gilbert.
Published by Riverhead Books.
‘The War of Art: Winning the Inner Creative Battle’ by Steven Pressfield.
Published by Warner Books.
‘Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones’ by James Clear.
Published by Penguin Random House UK.
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